Posted by: Boopalan Jayaraman | June 13, 2010

Yo! Back here!

By this post, I break the confidential agreement I had with Chetan Bhagat. Oh, man, won’t I look so ruthless if I refuse when someone almost begs me to stop writing for sometime, so that he can sell his books to a larger audience? Ok, stop staring now. Come on, give a smile, it was not damn funny, but little funny.

[Moral: Start with a cheesy joke while rejoining a place from where you went missing for an indefinite time. People will forgive ;-)]

Still staring? You won’t look at me like that, if you knew what all, this innocent creature [Hey look here, I’m referring to myself] had undergone in the meanwhile period.

You know, I was supposed to schedule a meeting with a girl from another team, sometime back. No, not for assembling a rocket or sort of things! But just a knowledge transfer as some useless people (like my lead) would call it. I sent an e-mail. No response from the thing, I mean, the girl. I called few times, but calls went unattended as dead as she was. I started typing an SMS for her from the-then-newly-bought HTC mobile. Oh, man, I was (yes, was!) always proud of its touch-screen features.

I had started to admire the auto-complete thing, it provides while I type the SMS. I type the word half, it brings it up. Yo! You should try this out! Multiple choices for same keystrokes? it is intelligent to bring up the frequently used word first, and pushes others next. Man, I m going to improve my productivity with that sort of thing in hand. Less messaging time – More work – Good appraisal – Good increment – Another new mobile – more features – again less time to message. Oh, how sweet! I’m coming, with that thought in mind!

Oh, sorry for being out of track! I sent an SMS to that girl – “Want to meet you for 10 minutes please. Urgent.” After sending, I just had my face filled with pride for typing it so fast, with one of the industry-best-auto-complete technologies. No response from the other party for long.  Oh, that girl is out of her mind, I thought. Okay, it is still better to re-check the outbox. Yep, the message is sent. See, it is in sent items. I open the message. Who blames my phone and network here? I read it for you. – “Want to meet you for 10 minutes pleasure. Urgent”. Okay? Hey what? Did I say “pleasure”? Was that “Pleasure” and not “please”?  I wanted to meet her for “10 minutes pleasure”? Urgent? Man, it is going to be a disaster with the meaning it brings.

My auto-complete had brought the word “Pleasure” instead of “Please” to the front. And I pressed it. Now it is – “Want to meet you for 10 minutes pleasure. Urgent”. I checked the message and the number. It did the job perfectly on that part. I hate this auto-complete feature. HTC – Suck you! Should I say explicitly, that the meeting never happened afterwards?

[Moral: Do not use the word “please” for sending a message to a girl. You’ll never know what you’ll end up with 😉 ]

You know, I always have this weakness of getting into a trap, thinking that I’d be going to be adventurous.

I was approaching the public exam of my higher secondary schooling. I, with my friends, was travelling by bus to a near-by town where some kind of special training was going on. Sure, I would not have accepted to go, if the girl (my crush) was not coming for it. But my boys gang [being poor at understanding me just like the subjects] sat somewhere near the last rows of the bus while the girl sat somewhere near the driver seat. [Schmucks, they don’t know how to come up in life!] I had to sit with them. Only one of my friends was sitting near the front door of the bus, which was near where the girls were seated, but the other seat was filled by my another class mate. I had to settle with my friends.

Half hour had passed by. The other class mate who was sitting with my friend [near front-door] came to us for a friendly chat. He said my friend was having a kind of vomiting sensation, since bus journey did not go well with him at that early morning. Oh, man, here was my chance! I could go sit near him, soothe him, take care of him, and save him from vomiting by having conversations. At the same time, I can have a look at the girl, smile at her, explain what I was doing there, blabber on subjects and try to look like a “friend-caring-subject-matter-expert”. Wow! Nice title!

I stood up to act swiftly. I told this guy – “Here is the plan -You sit in my place! I go there, take care of him, speak to him, and save him from vomiting by having conversations – for diverting his attention from it. That is the psychology. You know psychology? Oh, never mind!”

I was sitting with my friend near the front door in the next minute. The girl did not realize that I was there. Ok, let me start executing my action plan. I started speak to him and asked how he was feeling. As soon as he started explaining, I could not resist myself having my attention on the vomiting sensation. [‘Hey, what is rolling inside my stomach?’] I tried hard to divert our conversation topic. He had a lemon in his hand, to keep smelling it often so that he could resist his vomiting sensation. I asked him, ‘hey, what’s that stuff for?’ He said, “Just keep smelling it and one will be out of vomiting sensations, if any”, not stopping there, he brought that thing near my nose – for I could have “a test run”.

Uvveeeeeeee…..!!! Almost half of the bus was looking at me. Yep, I vomited on to the stairs of front door. The boost – energy drink, the Rotis I had during the breakfast, were there for others to see.  I wished that the girl had not heard of these happenings, but to my misfortune, she had promptly turned and noticed what were happening. I tried to smile, even though I was vomiting. Oh, now how is that! I’m smiling at a girl, with tears in eyes and a mouth full of vomiting stuff! I don’t want to picture that again in my lifetime.

[Moral: Don’t sit near your friend if he has a lemon on his hand]

Why I shared this story here is, thinking I’d be going to heroic, I get into traps sometimes. My recent project is kind of a backfire like the one above!! 😉

Talk to you later!

~ BJ ~

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Responses

  1. Machi… this is really funny!!!! had a laugh reading ur bus heroics… 🙂 the way u narrated was so funny. had a feel of our break (or work) times. 🙂

    • Machi, glad that you enjoyed!! [Hope you were not sarcastic in your comments 😉 ] i’m missing our tea / lunch breaks..!!

      ________________________________

  2. Boo you rock again!!! had a hearty laugh mate!!!

    • Baalaji,

      Thanks. Happy that you enjoyed. It’s long time [almost an year] we met.. Missing the ccr days! 😐


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