Posted by: Boopalan Jayaraman | April 6, 2009

How to become popular in corporate blogs in 30 days

Disclaimer: Not a damn serious post. Experiment the so-called proven methods mentioned here at your own risk. Author does not hold responsibility for any physical damages arising out of exercising them, and hunting for the author thereafter will be unfair. L

 

By starting to read this post, you confirm your interest in becoming popular! I appreciate it. I appreciate you at the first place for believing that my post would do something to become popular. I am not sure if this post will certainly help you to become famous, but I am sure that because of people like you, this post may [may!] become famous. Thanks.

 

Now, let us go through the tested, proven and at-least-believed-so methods on how to become popular in a corporate blog. Note; they deal with just becoming popular, no matter positively or negatively [Disclaimer No.2]

 

1. Believe in yourself and write: Believe that you are a bloody good writer. If not you, who else is going to believe in you? Start writing posts, right now. Just about anything. You should have some content on your name before you get popular. Some Tips are:

– Write about yourself, about how it sucked in your exams as always, about how your crush turned you down by going with another guy / girl, etc.

– Write about a dog which bit your grandfather and ask the readers why the dogs are so crazy and ruthless. Comments guaranteed.

– Make your post not understandable at first read. If it is still easily understandable, remove commas, full stops, and other punctuation marks. Post it under Philosophy category and call yourself a part-time philosopher. A confusing image will be an added advantage.

 

2. Be the centre of controversies [not recommended often]: Trigger hot debates. If someone writes about Global warming, ask boldly if he / she can shut down (and up) his / her system for the rest of life to help fight Global warming. If refused, well, there starts the debate! If accepted, still better, you escape his / her boring posts hereafter.

 

3. Publishing frequency: Publish 10 posts a day to remain in recent posts constantly. Yes, People will sense that we do not have any other work. Come on, after all we wanted to be popular blogger(s) and not worker(s). Don’t have to worry about people. An advantage is that people will get used to your name as an author and it is your first success!

 

4. Republishing technique: Add a dot or comma or any shit to your post and Re-publish it periodically. This will keep your post again in recent posts [Until Blog DevTeam takes this up as a CR J]

 

5. Commenting Techniques: Another important way. People estimate you with the number of comments on your post. So do not wait for people, start comments on your posts yourself.

 – Don’t make your post complete. After publishing your post, give some explanations, left-out content, etc through comments.

– Wait for some people to comment. There will be at least one poor soul to respond your post. Even if he/she says just a ‘good post’ or even ‘is it a post?’ you again respond saying ‘thanks so-and-so. I would actually love to explain you why I made this post…etc,’

– If multiple people respond, well, you thank them each in separate comments, although they abused you with bad words. By this you increase the number of comments in your post. Our spirit is unshakeable.

 

6. Appropriate Post content: Some tips are,  

– Make a query at the end of the post. That will yield more comments since people love to offer suggestions. Examples, “Guys, how was the book – Dutch Witch fell into Ditch [you’ll never get this book unless I write it :-D]

– Make posts of worries – of you, your friend, your friend’s girlfriend, your cat, etc. People will definitely offer consolations, and you will be viewed as a forward looking person.

– Make Seasonal posts. When a top-star movie gets released, write about it. When election comes, scold politicians. When appraisal cycle starts, ask ‘how we can make it more effective?’ [Although you have written it last year too]

– Post forward mails when you have no content. Until people figure out, you can walk around as original author. At least some innocent believe that you have written it still.

– If nothing works out, try writing posts like this. 😀

 

 

Disclaimer 3: Take it light, fellas! Not targeted on anyone (as it may appear). All the above things apply to me too 😉 [Intimate me in prior, if you decide to report abuse :-D]

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